To Fanny Brawne (19 October, 1819)
19 October, 1819
Great Smith Street
Tuesday Morn –
My sweet Fanny,
On awakening from my three days dream (“I cry to dream again”) I find one and another
astonish’d at my idleness and thoughtlessness – I was miserable last night – the morning is always restorative – I must be busy, or try to be so. I have several things to speak to you of tomorrow morning. Mrs Dilke I should think will tell you that I purpose living at Hampstead – I must impose chains upon myself – I shall be able to do nothing – I should like to cast the die for Love or death – I have no Patience with any thing else – if you ever intend to be cruel to me as you say in jest now but perhaps may sometimes be in earnest be so now and I will – my mind is in a tremble, I cannot tell what I am writing.
Ever my love yours