To Fanny Brawne (11 October, 1819)
College Street –
My sweet Girl,
I am living to day in yesterday: I was in a complete fa[s]cination all day. I feel myself at your mercy. Write me ever so few lines and tell you [for me] you will never for ever be less kind to me than yesterday – You dazzled me – There is nothing in the world so bright and delicate – When Brown came out with that seemingly true story again[ s]t me last night, I felt it would be death to me if you had ever believed it – though against anyone else I could muster up my obstinacy – Before I knew Brown could disprove it I was for the moment miserable. When shall we pass a day alone? I have had a thousand kisses, for which with my whole soul I thank love – but if you should deny me the thousand and first – ‘t would put me to the proof how great a misery I could live through. If you should ever carry your threat yesterday into execution – believe me ‘t is not my pride, my vanity or any petty passion would torment me – really ‘t would hurt my – heart – I could not bear it – I have seen Mrs Dilke this morning – she says she will come with me any fine day-
Ah hertè mine!